just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
