I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
