what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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