At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
