I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
