Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
