Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize