everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
