just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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