ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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