I just saw a hot homeless man
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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