Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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