I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
