She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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