I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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