maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize