Who wears a wallet chain?!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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