May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize