I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
