Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
