so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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