ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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