I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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