Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
