I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize