So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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