She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Houston, we have a blender
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
