She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize