He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
