You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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