Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My vagina is officially offended.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
