just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
