someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Randomize
