Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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