idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize