Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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