I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
