I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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