he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
