Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
