Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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