i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
