so explain again why im purple
no
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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