Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We are two peas in an std pod
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
