I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
