Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
