You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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