one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
