I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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