If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize