these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
