you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
