are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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