i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
