I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
