I didn't shave. On purpose
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
