is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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