some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
