just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
