It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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