I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
