alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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