She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
