Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
