We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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