Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she pinky promised me she was 18
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
