The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
