God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
