Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
