As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
