he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
