It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
