What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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