he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she smelled like a LAN party
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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