Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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