All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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